Friday, February 22, 2008

School Makes It Official

The $200 million Bush Library and Wingnut Policy Center will sit smackdab on the west side of campus where all those nice people used to live in the condos they thought they'd own for life (ha!).

Presumably the main building will include a porch where the ex-prez and his pals Heckuvajob Brownie and Trent Lott can sit in rockers, waving at the car-cars.

Next year's newest undergrad majors: Self-Delusion and Extreme Narcissism.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Could the on-campus whorehouse/abortion clinic/handbag-boutique be next?

Comes today the news that our university on the hill has come up with the PERFECT solution to the campus intoxication problem. This in reaction to three on-campus deaths last year by students who over-served themselves.

A "task force created in the aftermath of three students death related to drugs or alcohol has recommended opening a campus bar and allowing parties at campus fraternity houses."

Professional bartenders will be part of the party, too, according to the task force!

Story yet to come: The boozeries of Lower Greenville Avenue consider how to make up lost revenue when students can get shitfaced without leaving "the bubble."